i type like i talk

trees have grown tall birds have flown high, higher and higher goodbye goodbye goodbye

2006-12-03T10:03:00.000-08:00

i have never imagined myself as one who gets star-struck. i imagine myself as someone who acknowledges the fact that famous people are just doing what they know as life. and what would i acomplish if i was slackjawed in the face of a star? nothing as far as i am concerned.
visitors are nice. they are a break from the ordinary they are a release from the same faces, the same people, the same things that consume us daily. two weekends ago i got to visit kylie and eric in ft. worth, then i made it over to visit camille and marcos in euless. a few weeks prior to that lindsay came and visited rosalyn and i in austin. this weekend david and vonnie (rose) perry are in town, along with heather, marcos, and camille. sometimes gail, (abby thompson) her sister meagan and their mom kath come see me at work. on sunday my sister is coming to see me. i truly believe that these visitations are what sustain me. and not even just them, but the anticipation of them.
there were three visitors in my store this past week. two (three i guess) saturday and one on friday. i am going to jump around in chronology a bit on these habitues, because it will make my story stronger.
saturday before opening the store i was assigned to vacuum the front portion. i was using shop vac, who is missing an attachment, so you either get tapered hose or rubber squeegee (oh my word i had to look that one up, and i love it!) for liquid clean up. i naturally chose tapered hose because rubber squeegee just could not cut it for a dry surface.
i come to the bottom of a chair and i see a little cruiser. she is not moving or scurrying away. she is just, just. so i shut off shop vac and inspect her. she looks ill, i get a second opinion, sydney agrees. we decide to take liz, the gecko outside. after some intense persuasion we get her into a cup and take her to the sun. she found comfort in the cup and i littered so she could have a home facing the morning brightness. i do not know where she went from here, but she was a great little addition to my morning and i loved her.
going back to friday, in my store, a co-worker approached me ecstatic. my hero is in the store, oh my goodness! who was her hero i implored? none other than miss patty griffin, who i love. i kept a watchful eye on her and was giddy and told all the other employees that she was with us. what could have possibly been wrong with me? i did finally talk to her, i had to go get her a new size in some pants from the back. she was great.
and on the the third guest (i suppose it was more like thrid and fourth but they were in a pack so i am not sure on this one). i was working up at the cash register and i see an arm like this,and then i hear a very familiar voice. a voice that can only belong to one person, i look up and the owner is removing her sunglasses and its her:jesse james and sandra bullock are buying tiffany's table manners for teenagers. a great gift might i suggest.
sandra then flips through the catalog we have setting out at each register and points to our lovely stocking. jesse then asks me if we have these in our store (whilst pointing to them), i say "yes we do they are just right up there in the front hanging on that tree there." sandra goes and checks them out. while she is gone i complete jesse's transaction, he paid in cash and i foolishly dropped the dime as i counted back his change to make dad proud. and when i say dropped the dime i mean i basically threw it at him. sandra returned empty handed and said, "i love them but they are just too small" referring to the stockings. then they left and i was put away by the whole incident that i had the hardest time with the next transaction.
all this to say, i was star-struck and taken by the three famous people that came into my store. but i feel guilty. i feel like i should be equally excited and expressive about my excitement when i have other visitors. okay maybe not a gecko, but at least my loved ones. i mean they are what get me through. should they not be able to tell that when i see them? i believe they should so i will work on that.

in the end, in the grand scheme of things, it is not like patty, jesse, sandra and even liz have done anything for me. surely the other visitors that i have had since i have moved back to texas have been greater to me, and infinitely more meaningful. so why is it that i will be more likely to tell you about the later three (four) encounters?

the farther i come the farther i fall whatever i knew it was nothing at all nothing at all, just making me small smaller and smaller i fall back.

i turn my camera on i cut my fingers on the way

2006-10-06T11:34:00.000-07:00

i am at it again. driving myself halfway across the country, car full of all my belongings, mainly clothes.
the last time i did this i made a sort of photo journal. i am not sure i will do it again, although, i am going different routes and it kept me entertained.
i will however be needing your help. i am compiling ideas of what the heck i am going to listen to as a drive and what you think i should listen to and where and when would be greatly appreciated. in order to not go crazy, i'll need the album, not just a single song, but if it is dire please tell me.
just so you know i will be driving I5 straight down to I10 and into phoenix from there. the next day i will be shooting myself for continuing on I10 and driving through el paso and off at 290 bringing me on in to austin.
your suggestions are greatly appreciated and since i know that my good friends read this i know i won't be left with some lame proffer. and if i am i will reconsider our friendship. feel free also, to leave more than one. thanks friends, i can't wait.

ps: did i tell you the story about the womens club? or the man with the pink slippers?

straight i wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;

2006-09-16T01:13:00.000-07:00

i have a friend at work, ed, he is a funny person. funny in the way he thinks, the things he says, and the way he lives his life. a good person to have around, in my opinion. when some people get fustrated it is annoying or even frightening. but ed is even funny when he is fustrated, i am sure it is not funny to him, but funny to me.
i am not even sure how to describe ed to you. he enjoys a good argument, but his positions in them are often ridiculous. he also likes to think that he can pursuede people into doing ludicris things, like abandoning my prior engagements, jobs, responsibilities, plans, etc., to hitch hike halfway across the country to go see a concert that is sold out and sell grilled cheese sandwiches in the parking lot to get in (a greatful dead fan base tradition, ed is a deadhead, but i'd rather leave traditions with the prospective bands, cherry garcia is my all time favorite flavor of ice cream though). he has tried to talk me into doing this at least three times since april and each time he suggests i do it alone. yes, it would be fun, but honestly i will never do that exactly.
so now that you possibly have some sort of impression of ed, i will tell you what he did upon my suggestion.
for three weeks now ed has been looking for a third roommate. i am not sure what kind of add he put out or how he was looking for this third cohort but it might envolve telephone poles and a staple gun, again something i would never do but i'm not a deadhead so maybe i just don't understand.
he recieved a phone call from someone who was looking for a room for his girlfriend, not himself, but his girlfriend (again i lack faresightedness here). ed set up a time and date when they could meet and come check out the house. ed asked his name and upon hearing it laughed hysterically. he aksed again only to find out his ears did not deceive him. "raisin" he reapeated, "who has the name raisin?" all in a fury of laughter. the guy repeated his name two more times then he spelled it out for ed, r-a-v-e-n. still ed continued to laugh and they moved on from there.
now, ed told me this story and immediately i get this bass line in my head and see this
after laughing and trying to gain even just a little bit of composure my only verbal response was, "who names their kid raven?" ed replies with a, "i thought raisin was funny, but now all i see is a black bird." we talked a little more about the oddity of the name and i asked if raven what offended when he thought it was raisin. ed told me that he was annoyed a little and wanted to end the conversation fairly quickly. i told ed he had to do one of two things, at least, when raven came to see his house...either have marvin gaye singing in the background, or find some old vhs of the california raisins cartoon (i cannot believe the actually had a television show). ed of course agreed to this lunacy and followed through (now i am indebted to follow through on one of his suggestions...great). only he played the melody on his harmonica as not to be so obvious. which i like even more because raven might or might not get it.
the rest of the story is not fun, raven spent about five minutes looking at the house sans girlfriend, who was pregnant with his child, and said no thank you.
a sense of humor he did not implore
quoth the raven, "nevermore"

you know that i could be in love with almost everyone

2006-09-10T23:30:00.000-07:00

what would you say if i told you that i saw a burning recliner in the middle of the road?
well i would tell you that i thought you were crazy and that sounded like a stupid story and that only people who drop acid see things like that.
well then i'd laugh and kick you in the face because its true. as i was driving down pleasant hill blvd. the other night, through the trees, i saw a flame. as i drove nearer the flame grew larger and i slowed down so i could see what it was. either a garbage can or a recliner.
it was on the opposite side of the street from me. so i didn't have the best view. but it was right in the middle of two lanes. the worst part was that there was not any one else around. i was alone. so how will anyone know if i am telling the truth or not?
the next day i drove by it and for sure, springs and wood supports. the only parts that did not burn. i was not dreaming and i was not dropping acid. amazing. i should have crashed my car in laughter.
i should have photographed it.
on this same road months ago i saw a dump truck flip over and block two full lanes of traffic. it was one of those dumpish trucks that a lot of maintenance companies use to put their lawn clippings in, the truck was upwright, the metal lawn clipping holder was not.
i cannot wait to see what else i can see on this road. its due time for another travesty or desultory happening.
i love robot chicken, voltron just got served.

this isn't christmas this is chinatown and those are pretty lights

2006-08-15T00:16:00.000-07:00

i was visiting my grandpa (harold) and grandma (fern) a couple of weekends ago. they are both getting older in age and the stories seem to loop. my sister and i sat in for 1.5 loops of grandpas stories and i held hands with grandma so she knew that i loved her.
as we were leaving my grandfather said something i do not ever want to forget. so i'll catalogue it here in hopes that it will last an eternity.
he was telling meredith and i how much he loved to travel and visit people and relatives and so on, then he said, "we used to go see the people we know, now we don't know the people we go see." we laughed, then harold realized somewhere in his mind that his comment might be a little off color and he said, "oh i just added that in there," instead of something like, "oh, i'm just kidding." we laughed some more and i made a point to engrave what he said in the back of my mind and try not to screw it up.
then i decided that i would no longer say, "i'm just playing around (or something of the like)," and instead i'll start saying, "i just added that in there."

we gotta install microwave ovens, custom kitchen deliveries, we gotta move these refrigerators, we gotta move these colour tvs

2006-07-25T17:16:00.000-07:00

there is a new saga in my life that has finally come to an end. a conquest that took my sister and i from march till now to complete.
the epic i am referring to is the one of the microwave oven. and thanks to dire straits every time i think about the soap opera i get money for nothing stuck in my head. and i think about it every time i take the trash out, pull the trash bins to the curb, or open my trunk.
it begins when i move here, to california. the first week i lived here i had not much to do when derek and meredith were at work. so i volunteered to make a run to the thrift store to make a donation. so we loaded my trunk with tons of junk. and for the first time in the history between my car and i, hym pinkerton had someone elses junk in his trunk. most of this junk stayed in my car for about a month. one day i finally made it to st. vincent de pauls to give my (not really my) junk away. i was so relieved when the little man was finished emptying my trunk of his burden. only to my suprise he picked his way through all the bags i had given away so freely to tell me that they did not accept electronics. the reason being they did not want to check to see if they worked. so i drove away head hung low. a trunk full , still, of a toaster, a toaster oven, two telephones, some speakers, and thee microwave oven.
quite some time later my sister and i were at the anthropologie in berkeley, abusing my discount no doubt, and as we were putting valuables into my trunk, she was astonished to find her junk still in there. we then decided to just put them in the dumpter at the back of the store near the parking lot. so we tossed the toaster, the toaster oven, the telephones, the speakers, the...oh wait please, this yarn does not end here.
we left the microwave oven because we felt it was too large to toss into the large metal dumpster. WHAT? well its true. since i worked there, and someone did see us throwing things away, we did not toss there. so the microwave stayed. and i should have named it. the weeks passed on and every time i errked on my brakes because someone cut me off it slamed into the back seats. when i turned corners too fast like i like to do, it banged against either side of the car. life went on like this for far too long. till about a week ago actually.
meredith and i had the brilliant idea to throw the microwave into our neighbors trash. they had just moved out and had quite a heap. so we did. and what happened later that day when we came home to roll in the dumpsters? well, we found our microwave on the curb. alone, hot, and still there. so the next week we put it on top of our trash. came home and found it there, hot, and alone.
the end of this chronicle comes just last week when after finding the microwave oven on the curb for the second time, we hoisted it into the bottom of the trash dumpster and prayed it did not get stuck. there it sat for one week trash piling on top of it, me hopeing this would be the end of our relationship.
tuesday came, the dumpster was rolled to the curb, i went to work, meredith went to work, we came home. we ate dinner, we went for a run, we forgot about our now friend, that we tossed to the curb. as we returned from our run we approached the trash dumpster, i was nervous. i did not open the lid. i just began to roll it back to its position at the side of the house. i found it light, without burden, free of the microwave, just like my trunk, just like the curb, just like our lives. the time had finally come. the end is here.
money for nothing and chicks for free.

fat bottomed girls they'll be riding today

2006-07-10T21:29:00.000-07:00

cody nobody here knows what a pump is. and i work in a store where we sell bicycles. and everyone rides their bikes to work. and nobody knows what a pump is.

you say black I say white
you say bark I say bite
you say shark I say hey man
jaws was never my scene
and I dont like star wars
you say rolls I say royce
you say God give me a choice
you say lord I say christ
i dont believe in peter pan
frankenstein or superman
all I wanna do is
bicycle bicycle bicycle
i want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle

i stubled upon you and greatfully basked in your rays

2006-07-10T00:18:00.000-07:00

i do not remember the first time i met him. it is more like i have always known him. i do not remember the last time i saw him and i cannot pick out a favorite memory. i know that everytime i did see him he blessed my life with a sense of light and love and friendship that lasts. there was a real genuine quality about him. everyone knew who he was and he loved everyone who knew him. and he really did.
when he came to town there were lists of people that he would go visit. i felt honored that my couch was the one he chose to sleep on. i remember one visit he was unable, for one reason or another, to stay on my couch for one night and i felt cheated of something. how selfish could i possibly be? the verdict is still out. when neal would visit i felt the need to erase any agenda i had and relish in his presence. we could go eat greasy food, he could drive my car, we would listen to music impossibly loud. kylie and i would make sure his shirt was ironed for church in the morning. we would make sure he left some of his empty baxter boxes (for his dialyis) at our house, perfect for packing books and movies in. even after 3 moves i know i still have stuff stowed away in those boxes, thank you.
i found out friday night that sweet baby neal (as i would call him and he would let me) had left us to go home. as i listened to the voice mail driving down the road i instantly turned on dashboard confessional and started my car from a complete stop in second gear just for him. i could hear his infectuous laughter as he undoubtedly looked down on me. i laughed right back through tears and luckily did not crash my car. such a feeling of release and rue filled my heart at the same time.
neal was such a beautiful soul, strong willed and courageous. i remember when he was very young, playing basketball on the uneven courts at blue haven up against men nearly three times his hight, absolutely fearless. nine times out of ten he was better than those men. mostly i remember love. i remember that neal had love. not only did eveyone love him, but he loved everyone. he showed love and determination in every little thing he did. and now he is home. and that is what it takes to go home. i hope that your hearts always warm.

where I left the car that I can't find but I still got the keys

2006-07-05T23:23:00.000-07:00

the music at work is usually the same old crap. the managers are good at swtitching it up when it needs to be switched up. we have days of classic rock (my favorite), days of golden oldies, days of adult contemporary (which is a large range of ), pop radio (which kills me because i don't want to listen to beyonce or bayonice if you will), but today was different. today i was upstairs in the office assembling a new sunglasses display (perfect for me right?) and i noticed that they were playing exceptional music. like i had scrolled through my enitre music collection and picked some of my favorite driving or everyday songs and made a playlist. of course it was not assembled in the same delicate way i assemble my playlists, but still. it was just right for me right then right there. until whiskeyotown came on singing 16 days. i found myself sad, since i either listen to the strangers almanac album in full or listen to track four when i have somewhere exciting to be in 16 days (then i listen to it on day 15, 14, 13, 12...and so on). so then i was sad because i did not have any thing to count down for. then i spent the rest of the day at work wanting to listen to strangers almanac, so i tried to on the drive home but was distracted by phone calls and drivers. something else warranted my happiness just three songs later. i again hear my favorite voice drowning out sweet melodies over the store music. this time it is ryan adams and the cardinals singing let it ride from cold roses. sometimes i don't know if anyone out here would understand my love of ryan or his genre of music. but sean sean, a fellow employee walked by and said, "why don't they have this station on all the time?" to him i replied, " i don't know". it just made me so happy that someone knew my ryan then i started to miss my others who know my ryan too, and one i particular who knows how much i really do love him.
things were fine till someone switched the satellite station and let me see your one two step came on. the end of my happiness and three more hours of work left. i just held on to those two songs so i could finish my day out in hopes that tomorrow some kind soul will bless me with music that is good. just sharing a bit of my life a bit of my mind and a bit of my day for those of you who care.
old tin cups, and little paper dolls

won't you let me walk you home from school

2006-06-30T12:54:00.000-07:00

this, once again, is for justine centanni.
i have been thinking about a couple of words lately. God only knows why. for some reason these two words have been popping into my head and i would think about them for awhile, then i would think..."i really like this word, where does this word come from, why in the world to i like this word."
so i am going to give you the words along with the definition and the etymology per usual.

1. chasm (kaz'em) noun
a. A deep, steep-sided opening in the earth's surface; an abyss or gorge.
b. A sudden interruption of continuity; a gap
c. A pronounced difference of opinion, interests, or loyalty.
ety: 1596, from L. chasma, from Gk. khasma "yawning hollow, gulf," related to khaskein "to yawn," and thus to chaos.

2. con·nip·tion (kenip'shen) noun Informal
a. A fit of violent emotion, such as anger or panic. Also called conniption fit.
ety: 1833, Amer.Eng., origin uncertain; perhaps related to corruption, which was used in a sense of "anger" from 1799, or from Eng. dialectal canapshus "ill-tempered, captious," probably a corruption of captious.

and since i donnot like doing things in pairs, i prefer odd numbers i am going to give you the definition and etymology of my most favorite word, carrot.

car·rot (kar'et) noun
a. A biennial Eurasian plant (Daucus carota subsp. sativus) in the parsley family, widely cultivated as an annual for its edible taproot.
b. The usually tapering, elongate, fleshy orange root of this plant, eaten as a vegetable.
c. Queen Anne's lace.
d. A reward offered for desired behavior; an inducement: “The U.S. should use a moratorium on SDI development as a carrot to bring an acceptable offensive arms limitation” (C. Peter Gall).
ety: 1533, from M.Fr. carrotte, from L. carota, from Gk. karoton "carrot," possibly from kara "head." Planted as a garden vegetable by 1609 by Jamestown colonists.

hey julie, look what they're doing to me

2006-06-01T18:23:00.000-07:00

i know its been too long for some of you to wait for me to finally write something new. but my life has been fairly uninteresting lately. or if it has been interesting the only people who read this were there for it and didn't really need my account of the situation because they could form their own accounts.
but something happened to me today that you were not there for and that i have to share with you. if you have a weak stomach or you think most things are disgusting then you should not read my blog. if you are curious and you fit the description above it is not my fault for your reaction.
so lets assess something for a second: why is it that, in my life, i have had too many close incounters of the turd kind? why is it that when other people would have surely lost the contents of their stomachs numerous times upon seeing what i have manifested they would have givin up on life and been tourmented by what their eyes have seen, i simply turn my head and laugh. i...must be sick.
so on with the story of the day. i was shopping with my sister this afternoon. trying to find some shoes for lindsay kings wedding. i ended up in jc penny's and was struck with the undeniable need to use the bathroom. so i find a map of the store and pray there is a restroom in jc's. there is. but the sign is dumb and did not explaine that there was only a mens restroom on the first floor. the sales associate tells me i have to go to the third floor to relieve myself. great...can i make it? i do not know. to top this off it feels like jc's has an evaporative cooler on. the kind that do nothing as far as cooling and everything as far as making hot air damp. and when you have to go, heat is not what you want. needless to say i start stressing. i still have to ride the super slow escalators to the third floor and follow some more disobliging signs so i can find the stupid restroom. and at this point i don't care what it is like. at first i was shooting for the jc's restroom in hopes that it was nicer, possibly, than the mall public restroom. but by now i don't care because i am starting to sweat. so the bathroom is in the back of the salon.
meredith has to go too and we painfully weave our way through a labrynth of hair products, bad perms, and hair clippings till we find the bathroom. its gross, and even hotter than the rest of the store. by this point i'm thinking the contractors forgot to put air conditioning vents in the restroom on the thrid floor. which is just plain dumb. and i am kicking myself for not deciding on the mall public restroom.
meredith enters first, she politely chooses two next to eachother so we can talk if we need to. and the rest of the restroom seems full anyway. so i guess it is the after lunch bathroom rush. i'm about to hang my purse on the hook (which there was not) when i notice something under the lip of the bowl...it could not possibly be what i think it is. oh yes it is. a heap of doo doo. not here, not now, i need another stall. but first i have to show mere. i show her and i laugh the entire time i am in the restroom. slowly other people notice the doo doo too and start talking about it. sick, just plain sick.
after leaving the restroom and laughing some more meredith and i first quander how the doo doo got where it was without being slung or shoved under the bowl lip with out leaving tracks. then we wonder what human it came out of, or if it was possibly either dog doo doo, or cat vomit. thats right in a public restroom.
now i can handle...sort of, all the times i have seen it at summer camp and had to clean it up. but not this time, i could not handle it.. but i did not have to clean it up. all i had to do was laugh, walk away, and tell you about it. because that is what kind of person i am.

I don't care whether you hear this i don't care if i'm alone here singing songs to myself

2006-04-20T00:04:00.000-07:00

so i don't remember my dreams well. but i do remember the other night haveing one about an arcade or something similar. a lot like the game room at gattis in abilene.
something happened and i had a ton of tickets, which is odd because as a child i never had a lot of tickets. unless my sister and i cheated at skee ball. a trick we learned from some of my moms hurdlers (when she coached track/field) at chuck-e-cheeses. her name was dayna and i don't remember the other girls name but she had blonde hair.
any way in the dream i already had a ton of tickets. i think they were from skee ball because i don't play any other game. unless its the one where you wack the crocodiles head or big bertha. and i'm not good at any of those any way. on with the point...with my ton of tickets i was headed to the toy counter to get something good. this man approached me and handed me a coupon that was good for 1,000 tickets...what? i'm so confused. but i take it and i remember thinking oh good, i can get kylie a big stuffed animal like she's always wanted. and then i eyed a giant pink panther.
so i guess i got her one...but i'm not sure she wants a giant stuffed animal. unless it was a real stuffed moose, then i would be jealous and steal it from her.
my point in telling you this is, i didn't remember that dream till i went to a pizza place tonight called bella roma. there was an organ inside bella roma and it was nuts in there.
let me start by sizing up the place, imagine clydes pizza house minus the stage, the upstairs, the old freezer section, and the area for the salad cart by the check out place...oh and that weird store that is never open. i know i have stripped clydes bare, but there is more. now in that space add an organ, and a baby grand. there isn't room for the organ so we are going to suspend parts from the rafters and along a ledge around the room. the rest of it will line 2/4 of the walls some in glass, others causing the wood paneling to open and shut when appropriate. now we will add two cymbals with mechanical mallets and devices to bang them. one large drum with mechanical devices. an acordian with a microphone (which i didn't get to see in action). a disco ball. a train with tracks, a mountain tunnel, and three villages. a bubble machine. and numerous other lights that spun, flashed, and whirled around. a lot of stuffed animals including but not limited to, tweety bird in a red scarf and hat, a large cat fish, and a chicken. all of this suspened from the rafters. to top it off there was stained glass on the one wall where there wasn't a kitchen or organ. the lighting was so dim, lit by horrible 70's light fixtures equipped with 40 watt yellow bulbs (unless there was a crazy song on of course).
it was so loud in there, it was so crazy in there. the organist, or whatever you call them, was called david moreno. but he looked crazier. he had 1.5 inch thick glasses with thick black frames, for support i guess. also for support he was wearing 5 inch platform boots. i decided he liked things stacked. david chose songs like simon & garfunkel's el condor pasa while an honorary guest danced around the room like a jewish rabbi. the guest was a man who built a lot of buildings in the area, or was a choreographer, or choreographed his jew dance, i don't know, it was too loud and i only caught part of that. any way he was a senile old man dancing in the restaurant. he almost took my head off but i saw him in a mirror and ducked just in time. when he played don ho's tiny bubbles, bubbles released from the ceiling...perfect! every now and then the train would start up...it was so loud it really felt like i was at a train station, thank god the track was short. david played some other select tunes i don't recall by name, he did have a guest singer, who sounded like perry como, who sang about 3 times. he also played the ants go marching one by one song and got increasingly faster each go round as my sister and i raced to finish two drinks each, double fisted style, to the music. it made me feel like i should be animated. or have on red drop bottom underclothes with the drop bottom opening and closing really fast. i expressed my discontent when i learned that david didn't have a cool name like ken king...or the best jump n jack, who both played on different nights. i guess i will have to go back. not to mention as we were leaving we could hear from outside "when you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are, anything your heart desires will come true..." making it a truely magical evening. although i am not sure the sound that ever comes out of an organ is magical or even pleasant.
now for the connection to my dream...on part of the organ that lined the far wall of bella roma, a part enclosed in glass, was a large stuffed, hot pink panther.

square one my slate is clear

2006-04-16T23:33:00.000-07:00

at easter lunch over teriyaki chicken, honey baked ham, & salmon to name a few, a new friend of mine (who is somewhere between my dad and i in age)jon huie (like heewie) used the word fierce to describe a rollercoaster. i almost screamed in joy because just earlier last week i decieded that fierce was a good word that i would like to infiltrate into my vocabulary more. had i subconsciously relayed to jon "fierce is fierce pass it on"? i have no clue but it was great. just great.
and with my obsession with the dictionary i sould also tell you i am more intrigued by the etymology of words. and so you guessed it, you are going to get the etymology of fierce, along with the definition.

definition-
fierce
1. Having a savage and violent nature; ferocious. See Synonyms at cruel.
2. Extremely severe or violent; terrible: “the fierce thunders roar me their music” (Ezra Pound).
3. Extremely intense or ardent: fierce loyalty. See Synonyms at intense.
4. Strenuously active or resolute: a fierce attempt to escape.
5. Informal. Very difficult or unpleasant: a fierce exam.
6. Savage or threatening in appearance.

etymology-
fierce
1240, from O.Fr. fers, nom. form of fer, fier "wild, ferocious," from L. ferus "wild, untamed," from PIE base *gwer- "wild, wild animal" (cf. Gk. ther, O.C.S. zveri, Lith. zveris "wild beast"). Originally in Eng. also with a sense of "brave, proud," which died out 16c., but caused the word at first to be commonly used as an epithet, which accounts for the rare instance of a Fr. word entering Eng. in the nom. case.

i owe my love of definitions and etymologies to mrs. justine centanni, her name cannot go unmentioned.

just so you know

2006-04-16T01:14:00.000-07:00

one-up had nothing to say today. it was bliss, pure bliss.

bliss
n.

1. Extreme happiness; ecstasy.
2. The ecstasy of salvation; spiritual joy.

novices, novists, & novelists

2006-04-14T23:31:00.000-07:00

i have been job training recently. its not the best thing i've ever done. i'm adding up all the hours that i will be in training before i get a supervised shift and its just under 50 hours. really...that is so much.
so at my section i am training with this person i cannot stand. i gave him the nickname one-up. it seems like he is an expert on everything we are training for in product training. so everytime the person facilitating our training says something one-up says something else. he also states that he just can't seem to help himself when it comes to adding his own comments, along with a hearty chuckle. i don't know why but one-up gets under my skin.
when he starts talking i daze off into the distance to avoid making eye contact with him because i'm not sure my face would be appropriate. i really am this rude i suppose. he also requested a 15 minute break when we had 10 minutes left of learning. who doese that?
but today and yesterday he kept saying something that made me laugh in a nerdy nerdy way.
he kept calling customers novists, which is closer to novelist than what i think he means to say, novice. saying things like, "novists will come in here all the time looking for this and that" or "novists think this" or "novists will try to use lingo..." i literally laugh out loud, or snicker to myself everytime he does it. i picture all these writers coming into the store wanting to purchase a new kayak or a bike that is friendly to a novist lifestylee.
one-up may kill me but as long as he keeps making me laugh i guess i might make it through car racks, rentals, and camping. and i am sure that this anecdote makes me look lamer than one-up. i just hope we train in something that he doesn't know anything about.

trade in these wings on some wheels

2006-03-29T23:48:00.000-08:00

here is the photo epic of my journey west. i did not start until i was out of amarillo towards albuquerque. that is when i started to get bored, which is bad because that was some where between one and four hours of a twelve hour drive that day. so... i am headed west on I-40 closer to albuquerque than amarillo. when i list what i listened to, it includes but is not limited to, (obviously i did not write down every song i listened to on my trip to the west) i am listening to: Bob Schneider, Lonelyland, The Galaxy Kings, & I Have Seen the End of the World and It Looks Like This.

almost to albuquerque.

i wanted lunch at blakes lottaburger, a green chili cheese burger and a cherry coke, but they didn't take any form of payment but cash, which i didn't have so i had taco bell instead. i gazed at the sandia peaks for a bit, and left albuquerque towards gallup, a most unfortunate place. pressure wounds on my nose from my glasses.

truck in my mirror, snow on the peaks. i am listening to: Rachael Yamagata, Happenstance and some self titled

storms-a-brewin, so windy i have to use two hands.

my first sunflower seeds of the trip.

on the phone with my sister.

i passed an amazing karmen ghia and slowed down to 50mph to get a picture. ghias are my dream car.

goodbye ghia, i have to drive 75mph again.

almost to the arizona state line and cheif yellowhorse. listening to: Red House Painters, Songs For a Blue Guitar, Down Colorful Hill and other various songs from non-specified albums.

passing the border, i feel home. and my first RHP love, from Vanilla Sky, Have You Forgotten, started to play. i did not plan it, it just happened. and i was thinking, wouldn't that be great if Have You Forgotten came on because it is such a nostalgic song.

so i couldn't get good pictures of cheif yellow horse from my car so i had to turn around and get some. i loved passing this as a kid on road trips, i meant we were out of arizona and on to new mexico, which made it seem like we had travelled a lot because we were no longer in the same state. there is a menagerie of animals on the rocks. my photo doesn't do enough justice.

there is also a gift shop. from the state line i needed a pick me up so i listened to The Gorillaz, Demon Days.

i got of I-40 at holbrook and took AZ-77 change AZ-377 to heber. here is some high desert and the top of my head. Now listening to Black Eyed Peas, Monkey Business.

then i turned from AZ-377 right onto AZ-277 and hit snow, just like that.

from AZ-277 i turned another right to AZ-260 that takes me to payson on the beeline hwy. the snow kept getting worse from there.

i had to pull my car over to get out some warmer clothes because i had to get gas in payson. by this point i knew that the Black Eyed Peas were not right for the atmosphere so i listened to The Decemberist, Cast Aways and Cutouts & Her Majesty.

i couldn't get to warmer clothes because my trunk was too full to pop, i thought i'd smile for a snowy picture anyways because i could get to my uggs.

this is usually the most captivating drive along the mogollon rim. you can look out over purple mountains majesty. but with the snow storm and setting sun i could not photograph it for you.

i stopped to eat a wendys in payson and as i finished Every Little Kiss by Bruce Hornsby came on. a long time favorite song, i dedicated my dinner to Kylie Webb, "when the sun sinks low all around, thats when i know i need you now..."

here is where i had to stop taking pictures because it was night fall. nothing would turn out from my car. but to keep you amused i turned the Black Eyed Peas back on to finish Monkey Business, i was sleepy and needed them to car dance to. out of courtesy to the valley i rolled in listening to the Gin Blossoms, Congratulations I'm Sorry & New Miserable Experience. just paying homage. the next day as i drove around visiting my grandparents i honored the valley of the sun with Jimmy Eat World, all albums.

this is me with my dads mom, Grandma Fern.

this is me with my dads dad,Grandma Mize (Harold or HW). Grandma had a hard time figuring out the digital camera, the screen kept falling to sleep and she wouldn't hold the button down long enough. she got it though. she got it.

next i visited my moms parents. this is Grandpa Lund (Papa Bob).

this is Grandma Lund/Vesta (newly named The Vesta).

i was staying with some friends and their youngest daughter was turning 11 and having a slumber party so i hung out with them all night.
just a note, it rained all day in phx (unusual). it actually snowed in the north valley. the road i came in on was closed because of snow. the gamma sigs had to change their bike riding plans because of the snow on the 60. it was quite freak.

here is Morgan Elizabeth Sorce and her delectable chocolate birthday cake with friends.

this is me with Morgan on my right and Shelby on my left. Two of my most favorite girls.

i wake to a clear beautiful morning. i have to ask one of the sleepy gamma sigs next door to move a car (they were crashing in a spare house next to where i was staying, they got in at 5am, read more about their trip click). i headed out making sure i was listening to: Jimmy Eat World, Clarity.

Goodbye Sky Harbor did not come on as i passed this exit, but it did as i was leaving buckeye on I-10, the severe west valley.

there is not a lot to report west of buckeye. ugly open desert. beautiful sky. now listening to: Counting Crows, Across a Wire: Live in New York & August and Everything After. nothing till quartzsite.

note; thats not a thumbs down to the music i am listening to, Counting Crows are one of my favorite bands. it is to the scenery and the fact that i am quickly approaching Blythe, CA. a gross place where my dad used soap at the mcdonalds only to find if filled with urine.

yay, i cross the border and head to Blythe. i am now in california, my new home state.

for having to stop and pee in blythe i treated myself to a peppermint mocha frappuccino.

jelly bellies (click) are my favorite candy i think (i do love reeces pieces). i eat them on trips because it takes time, you can't eat a lot of jelly bellies at once because it tastes like a bad potluck. this is all i have left between blythe and indio.

a whole lot of california space.

finished my treat. i was nervous, i almost ran out of gas here. i also paid $2.80/gallon because it was the middle of nowhere.

me and some california.

thumbs up! and improvement in scenery.

some clouds and mountains in my near future.

almost to indio, coachella music festival (click), i might be back soon for you.

i had to stop at a rest stop on the other side of the majority of wind mills. my camera battery died. so i stopped for 20 minutes while my battery charged in a california rest stop facility bathroom, enough to get me to sundown, barely.

i did get some mills though, my favorite part about going to california as a child. my shots don't do it justice because i had to take them after the best ones.

i hit heavy rain right as i exited onto the 215 towards san bernadino. listening to: Wilco, Summer Teeth.

it got cold and snowy with a great climate change, it was like a breath of fresh air.

i turned off the 215 and got on the 138 towards palmdale. where i got stuck in a traffic jam for almost 1 hour. people wanted to get to the snow off a 2 lane highway with no turning lanes. major backups. i needed Ryan. listening to: Ryan Adams, Gold.

this was sort of my view for a while.

finally out of trafic.

some joshua trees.

the sun after mojave.on the 14. listening to: Ryan Adams, Gold Bonus.

the view headed north towards bakersfield.

i was on th 58 for a little while towards bakersfield, listening to: My Morning Jacket, At Dawn.

the road to bakersfield was long and winding. i ran out of battery right as the sun was setting through the green hills. i have the pictures on my phone. but that doesn't do you much good because i don't know how to get them of of there.

i did the best i could. by now i was wasted tired and just wanted to get there. i still had like 4+ hours to drive.

i finished my trip on the 99 listening to: Willie Nelson and Lee Ann Womack, Mendocino County Line (because i was going through mendocino county). back to My Morning Jacket, It Still Moves. at modesto i got on 132 which quickly led to 580 i was listening to: The Arcade Fire, Funeral. i got on 680 towards dublin then on the 4 to martinez listening to: The Notwist, Neon Golden right to meredith and dereks front door, my new home.

sorry about those sunset pictures. the snow day, the rainy day, and the lack of battery day. if you know how to get pictures from your phone to other places, you can see the sunset.

THE END

see your sunrise loves to go down

2006-03-29T13:24:00.000-08:00

these are the things that happen to me. some when i was young, some older, i tried to go in age order. i don't know why i ever do these things but i do.
i was cleaning the bathroom when i was little, i liked the sound the spray bottle made so i sprayed every step going down stairs. little did i know the cleanser had bleach in it. the staircase carpet had white circles till my parents moved out.
i practiced my loopy #2's on the back of my dads car with a rock. they were there till my dads car caught on fire on the freeway.
i cut a hole in the screen on the window b/c i wanted to make homemade paper.
i spilled nail polish on the tile and the wall at a friends house. i cleaned the tile with nail polish remover, but the wall wouldn't work, so i covered the spot with a ripped piece of wall paper. at least it was the same pattern.
i tried to make macaroni and cheese, while i was baby sitting a kid with tourettes, in a glass dish and it shattered everywhere.
i broke an antique wine glass while helping to clean dishes at my anal aunt vidas house.
i spilled an entire melted candle on a matress and the carpet.
it seems i have a history of putting myself in shamful situations. but, i have never felt as much shame as the latest situation.
it started around 12 pm yesterday. my sister left her wedding ring at her house. i decided to try it on.
as a side note; i'm not sure why girls always feel like they need to try on eachothers rings.
it went on well, with out any effort. eh...i'll take it off now. but first i have to pee. so i go pee, as i'm washing my hands i decide now would be a good time to take it off so i beging to wiggle it off my finger.
no it did not go down the drain.
worse, it was stuck on my finger. i quickly dry off my hand and go find some lotion. i get it to my knuckle. GREAT! i think. except that my knuckle is now swollen. so i put my hand in ice.
after a while i start to panic. i start to cry. laugh a little. then cry, me...crying. so i break down and call my sister. she tells me to take some advil for the swelling, ice it some more, for like 15 min, raise it above my head, then try with olive oil. i repeatedly do this till 3pm or so. all the while freaking out and calling my sister. i finally call her office and find out she is with a client. so i chill out a little because i now know she is not ignoring me. she calls me back and one of the doctors she works with told me to come down to their office.
this is the last thing i want to do because i did not even want my sister to know. oh well, it hurts so bad at this point i do not care. at her office they try this cold lazer therapy, but that doesn't do crap.
meredith takes me to lunch and then back to the house. we ice it again, above my head and she pushes the ring back down the bottom, small part of my finger. she then tries to massage some of the swelling down. i can actually feel it go down my arm. by now its almost 6pm. the last thing i wanted was for derek to come home and laugh to death about the situation. my sister then pulls and pulls to the point i can no longer stand. i was crying so hard, it hurt so, so bad.
we looked online and people suggested windex and wrapping your finger in dental floss to push down the swelling. we tried windex (the alcohol is cooling). we tried athletic tape, and electrical tape. we tried to just pull it off so many times. each time the finger would swell back up to full force. by this point my finger just under the ring is raw and the rest is turning purple. the last thing we want to do is go to the emergency room because i don't have insurance right now. we also learn that i would rather someone else put me through pain than me put myself through pain. the opposite of derek and meredith.
we finally decide to use dereks dremel and we saw it off. we did not decide to to that until 10 pm.
i slide a metal fingernail file under the ring between my finger. derek saws through the ring. we pry it open agianst my soar finger, finally i get the ring off. i cannot tell you the relief. i just cannot. there was gold dust on the file and on the table and on the fiberglass ring that sawed through the gold and on my finger and on dereks face, we put all we could collect in a plastic baggie with the bent sawed ring, the diamonds are safe.
it was still swollen when i went to bed at 12am. it took me forever to fall asleep, it was still throbbing.
today it is not swollen, but it hurts. it is bruised. the lower half of my ring finger is raw and bruised.
needless to say i won't be trying on any wedding rings any time soon (mine or someone elses).

i feel like an idiot. you may laugh, please laugh. i was laughing even when i was crying in pain. i will laugh and feel like an idiot for the rest of my life.
rock on gold dust woman, take your silver spoon and dig your grave.

i did what i did because it was easy and i was suprised before i knew when i was back where i was

2006-03-27T00:35:00.000-08:00

just a fast update. i am no longer in texas. for all you texas who will never understand what it is like to live in another state do not read the next statement, or take it as a personal comment meant to offend texans. rather, i am sure it will give you another reason to love your state:
it feels so good to be out of that state. i am now in the san francisco area. i am living with my sister and her husband in the east bay. it is lovely. i finally made it here and it was about time.
now i am job searching. for what i do not know. what is in store for me is uncertain. people ask me what i am doing, but i find comfort in the uncertainty. i do not mind giving them a vague answer or simply giving them a blank look and saying, "i am not sure" while shrugging my shoulders.
i spent my first week here camping in death valley. i went last spring as well. i was cold. but if you ever have the means to make it there, i highly suggest it, it is so choice.
i documented my journey back to the west in photograph. i will give you those soon. i have to delete some music files, transfer some huge art files, temporarly remove some more music files, and then upload the pictures from my camera, and figure out how to give you photos first.
thats just a preview of whats to come.
today my sister and i had a movie nap on a small couch together. we chose the royal tenenbaums. we woke with sleeply legs, butts, and backs. it was the part where royal takes margot to an ice cream parlor, she orders a butterscotch sundae. so we looked up the closest dairy queen and got one too.
its good to be back with her. i love her. and i've missed her.
i have nothing of importance to tell you. sifting through music files can utilize hours of my time. that is okay.

cody's and consort

2006-02-27T16:44:00.002-08:00

i took that extra step to go upstairs and refind that receipt i spoke about in a way earlier blog. i felt like it would be a good time to recap what had happened to me on the open road. first i have to give credit to two codys in my life.
harrison cody girod: he caused laughter in my life today while i was subbing. i was in a content mastery lab, i looked over at the computer desk and saw equate classic cherry almond lotion. i saw it then i took a second look, and then a closer look, then i walked up to it and imagined this. cody rubbing the lotion on his pasty white thighs. i really did laugh out loud. nobody was in there.
cody whale blair: i feel like one thing i really admire about cody whale is the joy he takes in little things. i love nothing more than to take joy in little things and i love people who do the same. this blog is mainly about little things.
so i am flashing back to thanksgiving (2005). i got to go home home (phoenix) and had to drive back from the airport in midland to abilene where i would proceed in the most stressful and negligent semester of my life.
arriving in phoenix on a wednesday afternoon i noticed a gloom. it is not unusual for phoenix to appear cloudy on account of the pollution, but there was just dust in the air. thanksgiving went well and the sky cleared up so the gloom has nothing to do with the mood. i cannot express to you a lovely clear arizona sky. it is different from the amazing blue skys in new mexico, and different from the big blue sky in texas. i would call the arizona sky bright and crisp, definitely distinct. i left on sunday morning and arrived in midland early afternoon. but something happened on the way there.
i like turbulance on the plane. i think its fun, and it doesn't scare me at all. so i feel this turbulance and the captain suggest that we are about to land in el paso ( i had a lay over there). i thought it was the lamest suggestion because i could not see the vast red dirt around the pass. but as soon as i tried to rationalize how we could be landing soon i heard the landing gear emerge and a few seconds later we were on the ground. at this point i could barely see the runway. i did not know how the captain (or do you call it a pilot) saw it and knew where to go. so i waited on the plane for people to file out and more to file in. off we went to midland.
landing in midland was clearer, but windier. i drug my self to the car fighting to stand and saw piles of dust in the crevaces on my car...i thought, wow, now i know where el paso was going. and i felt the pass gather on my teeth and on my face. i was so excited to get in my car.
now to the point, or the experiece. as i'm driving dust is blowing like snow flurries. i was having a hard time driving my car and staying in the correct lane. i drove over those loud bumps so many times and i could not even help it. the wind was so loud i could barely hear my music. but i could. i had in rufus wainwright, poses. it was then that it happened...the consort come on (track 9). i have always loved this song. and not necessarily the lyrics (although good), but the music. all of a sudden the tumble weeds i was dodging and the dust flurries were dancing to rufus. my eyes were dancing, and so was my mind. i was in a complete state of bliss. if i could transport myself to that moment i would, over and over again.
i was so shocked at how miraculous it was that the tumble weeds wanted to dance to my choice of music so i tested my luck and replayed it over and over until i was passed the tumble weed section of I-20. they loved rising and falling to the consort just like i did, we were all so intranced.
the moments like this that can only be described as seraphic really make me appreciate life. like when the farmers bail cotton and they wind takes it and it looks like snow. or when the sun catches particals at dawn or dusk. when thunder laughs loud and lightning dances. those times only become so much more quintessential when music accompany them. i appareciate most that these moments cannot and will not ever be composed. not by us anyway. i loved my concert. every time i get one i feel so special.

and you should listen to rufus wainwright.

and during this drive i saw an old woman with big white hair, pink lipsick, and a little black dog as a neck rest.

and i love definitions...
Main Entry: consort
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: associate
Synonyms: accompaniment, companion, concomitant, fellow, friend, husband, mate, partner, spouse, wife
Antonyms: antagonist, enemy, foe, rival

nothing brings me pleasure like

2006-02-11T22:57:00.000-08:00

good bubble gum.
not the kind that tastes good or lasts long but the kind that blows big bubbles that don't pop in your face and stick to your lips
peppermint mocha frappuccino.
starbucks used to sell it only from november through january. now they sell it year round, praise God. even thought it is not on the menu
the olympic anthem.
The anthem was first played at the Games of the I Olympiad in Athens in 1896 and at every Games since 1960, it was composed by Spyros Samaras (music) et Kostis Palamas (lyrics)
viva la bam, jackass, wildboyz.
the only thing good on mtv besides meet the barkers.
papillons hot wings.
from phoenix. the best. my sister and i would beg my dad to buy a huge bucket of them. 2/3 regular and 1/3 hot. an extra order of carrots and celery. then we would take them to my moms track meets (she was a coach). it was my favorite part of spring track meets. we would sit at the top of the bleachers near the press box because they would employ my sis and i to run the results up and down the bleachers. then we would go pick oranges from the trees surrounding the tracks in the tempe union high school district
corona del sol football games.
i have no choice but to love them since i started attending them from before age 1. i also love the fight song: i would give you the lyrics but if you can't hear the band with it or don't know the tune, i am not sure you will appreciate its ascendency on people
cherry garcia ice cream
ben and jerrys finest. i appreciate that they utilize the under appreciated black cherry. while everyone else thinks that maraschino cherries are good, ben and jerry deliver the truth
my morning jacket.
i love them live and not live. watching them rock on stage is quite an experience. i even stayed home on a saturday night to watch them on acl on pbs
ryan adams.
there is something about that man

alright i will stop now because there is no telling how long this could take.

beans beans the magical fruit

2006-02-07T14:35:00.001-08:00

today i subbed at an intermediate school. i had to walk these sixth graders from class to p.e., p.e. to class, class to lunch, lunch to class, class to music, music to class, then i got to finish class that i started and stopped 3 times. on my way from class to pick up the kids from music i passed a class that was taking a bathroom break. the boys were making farting noises with their armpits, mouths, cheeks, for all i know they were really farting. there was a girl sitting in the hall way and another girl passed her. one looked at the other and said, "i can't believe they still think farting noises are funny!" in a tone only a sixth grader, and my mom on occasion, can produce (what is smothered steak on rice?). i thought to myself...i still think farting noises are funny.
fart noises are funny. just think about them. you will laugh. not necessarily the fake ones, but the real ones. so funny. just thought i'd share that. the rest of the day was not funny at all. the kids had a sub yesterday and they were horrible. so their teacher, mrs. moore, was there this morning giving them the iron fist. then she handed the baton on to me. and you bet they minded me. so it was a very stalin day for me. too bad i left my hammer and sickle in the car.

blue sky, when you gonna learn to rain? and let yourself go blue for once

2006-01-30T23:40:00.000-08:00

just so you know:
i really wish i was margot tenenbaum right now. i like how she solves her problems. i don't even have any problems but still.

i also really like the word carrot. i like how it is pronounced. i like how different it can sound coming from everyones mouth. i like how it is spelled. i love how it looks, typed, and written in so many different handwritings and typefaces. it is my favorite word. and i do not think it is strange to have one, so you can tell me yours if you like. if you have never thought about it you should. everyone should have a favorite word, we look at them all the time and at least one should make you happy. it falls along the same lines in mrs potters lullaby by the counting crows when the lyrics state, "if you've never stared off in the distance then your life is a shame" i fully believe this and i love it like i love carrot.

i like that it is possible to have a perfect phrase in the english language. english is not my specialty but when it is mentioned in donnie darko i get very excited. the words are "cellar door". there is a debate on it if you go to http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0246578/ you can find out some more about that.

moving on i am going to bed now. ryan adams is singing words into my ears and i am dreaming about my life as margot tenenbaum, so i cannot think of a more perfect time to retire. besides that i am tired.

wishing you were here in my arms, fare thee well my old friends
fare thee well
is it possible to love someone too much

do you like my hat? sure. can i wear it? no.

2006-01-24T21:19:00.000-08:00

this is not tramatic. this is not fun. my first day of subbing and all i can say is i i am bored out of my mind and i know the kids are too. i would love for you to wear your hat because it would give you someting to to. and it would give me something to do too. although you asking if you can wear it and me telling you no is something also. katey why the heck are you trying to get attention by eating quarter sheets of bright green extra spearmint colored notebook paper? 8th graders why is it that you stop doing whatever it is you are doing when i look at you. i only want to know so i can participate, i am twirling my hair. don't stop, let me see, tell me. and yes every boy in 8th period can one by one get up to go to the bathroom, but you have to wear this orange cross guard vest that has the room number on the back. ai would get up to go to the bathroom too if i was you. i would do it five or six times if at all possible. i would take as long as i could too, who cares if all the boys accuse you of taking a poo (garrett oakley). getting sidetracked is not a crime. i am so sorry.

so this is how it went. i took attendence for 3 class hourss and one ap (homeroom) class. i was sent to the teachers lounge 3 times because my classroom was used by another teacher. i finished my book and read the sports page (yesterdays and todays) two times. plus the front page of the amarillo globe. which featured a two page article on george bush and his speech to pro life marchers in DC from kansas. the story was so uninformative and really lasted only 1/2 a page in microsoft word in courier new (single spaced). i think i was dumber for reading it and as a result i will blame all my speling erors in this blog on that article. and that is it, that is the most exciting thing i can come up with right now in my life.

however i do love extra spearmint green.

These days I sit on corner stones And count the time in quarter tones to ten.

2006-01-17T23:02:00.000-08:00

if i did not want to be beatrix kiddo i would want to be margot tenenbaum. and if i could not be either of them i would just die.

not real

2005-12-20T00:40:00.000-08:00

this is not a real blog. its just a filler. i felt like i needed to write something because i haven't in so long. but i'm not up in zachry bored out of my mind anymore. that doesn't negate the fact that some of you are somewhere bored out of your minds, so hopefully i will entertain you for a bit. the real blog i want to write is on the back of a sonic receipt that i got on my way home home to phoenix for thanksgiving, it was left in my purse, in pencil i jotted down what needed to be said while driving in super windy conditions on the way to abilene. it has since been transferred through three purses and two boxes since i have packed and moved out of abilene and am at my parents house in canyon. i know exactly where it is so when i decided to go get it you will have my real blog.

note: i hate using apostrophies instead of writing the two words out like haven't (have not) and doesn't (does not), and so on it makes me so mad. but i did it above and i'm (i am) sure i've (i have) done it before. i apologize and i am sure it makes me more upset than it does you. i will not do it again i hope.

just because i am not bored up at zachry any more does not mean i am not bored at house

i refer to phoenix as home home because that is where my home really is (even though technically i have no home at the moment) and canyon as house because that is where my house is (even though i have never lived there and it is simply where my parents live, i bet they call it home.)

sometimes punctuation is overated, especially in my bolgs

this has now turned into a blog

coffee and toilet bowl cleaner

2005-11-18T11:12:00.000-08:00

last night around 2 am i stoped at a alsups somewhere outside of sweetwater, tx i think. gross! i felt the need to buy something from the darling lady at the cash register, even though there wasn't any toilet paper.
aside: there was toilet paper, it was what was left of those huge rolls, about the diameter of a cigar. but i was the first of three who had to use it.
aside: i don't know why i'd ever feel the need to buy something from someone who runs a store that makes me smell like i took a bath in a fryer.
so i decided to buy some coffee since i had about an hour left to drive and in typical me fashion i had stayed up the two previous nights working on two projects. why did i drive? God only knows. well anyway this coffee was horrible. so horrible. i put cream in it and that might have been its only saving grace, and even at that i was only half a saving grace. it really tasted like toilet bowl cleaner smells. and don't act like you don't know what i'm talking about because you do. everyone does.
by the way this is for lindsay barker and mary beth timmerman.
back to the coffee. i drank it anyway because i was cold and needed my body to be constantly doing something besides fighting awakeness. when i woke this morning i regretted it immeadiately. i was sick and still am. here it is 2:22 in the afternoon, 12 hours later from consumption and i still am reeling from the toilet bowl cleaner.
oh! by george i found the fire escape. i'll tell you now where it is. you get off the elevator on the 20th floor you go east. (i say east because i don't know which set of elevators your getting off of.) then you take a left down the small hallway by the restrooms. the door to the emergency fire escape staircase is right across from the mens restroom on the south wall of the hall. there is another fire escape inside the office area. you go striaght back (east) almost to the windows on the farthest east wall. and on your right is a small mystery door. that is it. the second escape. there is also a miniature maintenance elevator in the tech room located at the center of the office. one day i will ride that sucker.
have a good day. i pray that the people you work for don't make fun of your voice and sense of fashion behind your back like i just found out the guys i work for do. its alright, i'm a good sport. i think they love me.
pray for my dad, he just had kidney stones removed.
have a good thanksgiving. i know i will, i get to go home home.

mustaches and fruit snacks

2005-11-04T13:11:00.000-08:00

sorry it's been a while since i've typed. i still don't know where the emergency exits are so not much has changed. as soon as i know those i'll fill you in. i feel that is important.
my senior art show was last week and i was dead to the world. if i can figure out how to attach a photo to my blog i'll show you some of my show. now that that is out of my way i have plenty of time to catch up. not really, i don't feel like i necessarily have any more time than i did or didn't have last week.
if you want to do something funny i highly suggest putting on a fake mustache. it is great comic reliefe and will make you feel great. it makes some people look like their fathers. it made me look like an old chinese man. maybe because my stach was grey and when i laugh my eyes shut all the way. no offense to anyone, it just happens. i also did not stop laughing from the time it was on till the time i took it off.
i got to see my parents two weeks ago that was cool. my dog puka, an italian greyhound, has a new thing. she likes for you to breathe in her ear. she used to strategicaly position her paws on either side of your neck and bury the top of her head in the space between you neck and shoulder. now she gets her ear as close to you mouth as possible and growls a little if you don't blow. how odd and how funny. i would also attatch a picture of her if i knew how.
something you should note, super wal-marts aren't the same even in the same town. i saw some great pumpkin charlie brown fruit sancks at a wal-mart while shopping with a friend. i didn't have my wallet so i decieded i'd just get them sometime soon at the wal-mart by my house (the 3rd largest in texas). i needed to get them for my friend brandon. see he calls me the great pumpkin and him, charlie brown. so it's only fitting that he have this huge box. well i go two times in one night to find the box at the 3rd largest wal-mart and what do i find...nothing. not even that but the employes (associates) won't help me either. so i end up going to the other wal-mart and there they were, front and center, great pumpkin charlie brown fruit snacks in a huge box. i was mad, why don't they have them at both super's?
also, at wal-mart you can't take a flash photo because the assciates will get mad. well, not all of them but some who are buttholes (not my words, theirs). sam walton has a dream.
have a good day.

weekend warriors and our best friends

2005-10-19T10:20:00.000-07:00

i loved my weekend because i got to see some of my best friends and get a lot done and i got to see bands on both friday and saturday night. not to mention a parade and willy the wildcat, which i turned my head quickly and waited for him to pass me by. also added to the wonderful weekend–i saw some suprise visits from great people. yay! i also went shopping with my roommate for flowers, which she can't plant because the dog will eat them.
i don't have much to say today. i hope if you're reading this you are good. if not contact me and we can talk it out. new updates: i still haven't found the emergency stairs at the enterprise building. did i mention that i'm on the 20th floor. thats the top, it doesn't get any higher. and did i mention that the enterprise building is the tallest in the great city of abilene? well it is just so you know.
here is somethign interesting for you. today my class met at mckay's bakery downtown, (may i suggest the cheese pig in a blanket?) which is irrelevant to the story. either way one of my classmates said, concerning my green skirt, "i guess that's sort of a cute skirt." to which i replied thanks in more of a question form than anything because i am unsure, and still am after a bit of pondering, if that was a statement that thanks was in order for. now i don't know what you should do with this useless story i apologize.
i would also like to tell you that the other night i went to visit my friend gail, or abby, and we talked on her back porch. now she lives in a one room duplex in the ghetto. and i'm not even kidding. two neighbor kids came to play with us. she sees them daily but this was my first meeting. england-age 9 and marshall-age i'm not sure but older than england. after getting in a fight that consisted of them throwing crumpled up peanut butter cookies at abby and i we sat down and shared every verse of the diarreah song. we both learned new verses. if you think about it long enough you will start to laugh the way you did as a kid where you can't suppress it. if you don't start laughing, or at least consider laughing, contact me because you might have problems.
anyway the point of that was to encourage you to revisit some childhood immaturities because it will make you feel great for days. sometimes it helps to have some young children, preferably boys, nearby to spur it on.
now i am going to eat hot tamales till my mouth is on fire and all i can possibly do is eat more to stop the burning sensation created when consuming them.
i made two rules for myself today and i've broken both of them: no apologies (unless you hurt someone physically or emotionally) and no yawning. oops i guess i'll choose better rules next time.
have a good day.

the very first one

2005-10-14T11:12:00.000-07:00

so erika watts told me to do this so i am. rosie told me too, well really she said, "do you have a blog b/c i think you should" so why not do what everyone tells you to do?
well, i'll tell you about my day i guess. i watched boondock saints last night: (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0144117/plotsummary)
as a result i went to work this morning feeling violent.
i am now at my internship where i have finished the jobs given me and am waiting for further instruction. the problem with that is, everyone is out to lunch. they usually come back around 1pm. it is now 1:15pm and i see no one. i would have gone to lunch but i didn't think i had time. oh well, i will eat these reese's pieces. which are my favorite and right behind me is a bowl of them. i try to eat them one at a time, holding the thin shell between the roof of my mouth and my tongue. i wait for the shell to dissipate and get excited when i taste the velvety peanut butter. then i smash the peanut butter disk and consume the next one. this takes time and makes me feel like i'm eating less candy than i should be. in all reality i probably only go through this process with one out of 5 or 6 pieces. i gobble the rest like you should.
well sorry i've filled your time with crap. i will go try and find the emergency stairs now, i've worked here since august and i don't know where they might be.
as for the rest of the weekend i will be spending it with my mostly companions.